Dear ex husband just in case you’re watching me (7/15/17)

Random Rambling: I don’t want to be anywhere else
May 14, 2017
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Dear ex husband:

I’m writing this to you just in case you’re watching me (from blocked sock accounts) on the net. I’ve had some weird things happen for the last few months up to a few days ago that makes me think that you might be watching what I’m doing online. I don’t really care if you are or if you “find” anything on me. The thing that you have to understand is even the stuff I write here is stuff that (on some topics might be embarrassing) if my family/friends found it it’s stuff that I am prepared to defend/explain as nesscery. It’s nothing that really tells you anything that you would find interesting.

Mostly because right now I’m worrying about my dad and making sure that he is ok. If you are watching me here, on Twitter, or my blogger FB page, or hell even if you manged to get one of your family members to let you use their FB page to see mine you’d see it’s all the same stuff that I did/enjoyed when I was still married to/with you.

You think that I’m different now/you “care” about me because she made me into a fairytale in your mind because she didn’t let you get over me on your own she forced it and now and maybe forever I will be “the one that got away”.

Your dream version of me isn’t real, she never has been. We both know that you get off thinking about the power you have over me.

The truth is that I am going through some really scary times right now and even if I could get ahold of you to help me the truth is that I wouldn’t want to because over and over again before you left you told me not to trust you or your help because at the end of the day you would end up leaving me all over again.

Plus the person who I am 7 years after we split up is someone you would have no idea how to deal with because I have no time or desire to just be whatever a man wants/needs me to be. I am who I am flaws and all.

If you want to keep peaking out at the window of my life that you see online have at it but know that you’re only seeing what I chose to let the world see. You don’t have a back stage pass to my life anymore. Have fun with your dreams of your fairytale version of me I hope she makes you happy until you find your next one…

– your ex wife

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